It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
