I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
