I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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