i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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