it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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