Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
