i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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