She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
