Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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