They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
