The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize