He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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