Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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