He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize