booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
