She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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