Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
