I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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