how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
