stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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