its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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