Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
