I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
