Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
