No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
