Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
