Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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