I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
