No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
