Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
