Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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