I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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