pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
