fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
