Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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