ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dibs.

  Fav 30 1220 2474

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  k i'll be over in 5.

  Fav 101 15214 1620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

  Fav 70 14194 1980

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

  Fav 15 5355 1271

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.

  Fav 15 4292 1301

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

  Fav 10 1595 834

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (916): View more from California

  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

  Fav 4 1334 536

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.

  Fav 2 915 486

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life

  Fav 2 446 950

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.

  Fav 6 1190 485

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious

  Fav 1 786 564

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex

  Fav 0 37 69

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.

  Fav 0 46 14

  share tweet
  

• (813): View more from Florida

  I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?

  Fav 0 8 36

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  So many questions

  Fav 0 35 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize