we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
