I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
