Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
