I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
