you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize