Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The uberlube is also flammable
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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