Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
