i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
