Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize