The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
