i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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