Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh god the rape fog is back!
one two three fourrrrnication!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
