Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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