Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All I want is dick and wine.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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