so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bring me that man meat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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