Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize