Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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