and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
