ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
